Bella's Boxer Shorts

Scared Straight

I was a bit ticked off that Mom and Dad went out into the wilderness without me this past weekend (they even made themselves turkey-and-cheese sandwiches, which they KNOW are my FAVORITE! Cruel and thoughtless, I tell you).

But after Mom showed me this picture from her camera, I was pretty glad that I stayed at home. Yikes!

xoxo - Bella

(P.S. Mom says that even after reading the sign, people with dogs were walking to the edge of the cliff...and hoomans are supposed to be the superior species? Ack.)

Bella Picasso

I decided that being a TV critic wasn't all that fun ('cuz it requires watching a lot of mind-numbing TV), so now I'll try my hand at being an art critic.

Here I am, checking out a piece of work created by my cousin Fiona in Sacramento. Fiona created this piece of art for my Mom's birthday....it's slightly avant-garde, reminiscent of early Jackson Pollock perhaps a bit of Andy Warhol. Oh heck, I have no idea what I'm talking about...it just looks pretty to me!

xoxo - Bella Picasso

i tawk funny now

Mom was supposed to get a lot of work done today, but instead she wasted an hour chortling over a bunch of cats....CATS, for god's sake! With a blog called i can haz cheezburger!

I tried to get her to pay attention to me, but the cats were obviously using sophisticated mind-control techniques to make themselves look cuter and act funnier than me.

Well, the stupid cats can haz their cheezburgers, 'cuz i haz pee-nut butter which everybody knows is way better.

Take that, you sneaky cats!

xoxo - Bella

New Show Idea: Craziest American Dog Owners!

Here's my thought of the day: CBS’ “Greatest American Dog” should be renamed “Craziest American Dog Owners." And while I'm on a roll, I think the only person qualified to judge is Victoria Stilwell. The other two are clowns.

My money's on Travis and Presley...has anybody noticed that the dog in the logo is a boxer?!?

xoxo - Bella, TV Critic

My Summer Vacation

Hi everybody, long time no blog....but I just got back from a week-long visit at Mi-T Boxers, which is where I was born. Check this out:

Hmmmmm, which one doesn't look like the others? Fortunately, nobody noticed my floppy ears or my chest freckles. I even got to hang out with my canine Mom, Tori. Here's a picture of us together:

My favorite playmate of all was Eli. He's still a little young and rambunctious, so I had to show him who was boss ("this is MY pillow, Eli....go find your own!!"):

Hope you enjoyed my little slide show.

xoxo - Bella

Boxer Paradise

OK, I know that this picture is taken from very far away and you can hardly see anything. But if you squint real hard you'll see four of my boxer brethren. They are totally excited because I've come to stay with them for a week while Mom and Dad are in New Yawk.

If you squint even harder, you might be able to see which one is my Mom (my canine Mom, that is). Have you figured it out yet?

Anyway, sorry for the sub-standard picture quality. Mom (the human) was a little sad at leaving me behind and was fumbling with the camera, muttering expletives under her breath (she's a New Yawker, alright). But she knows that I really love it here. Plus, my godparents Terri and Randy let me run, jump and play like a crazy boxer all day long. Oh, wait--that's because there's a HOUSEFUL of crazy boxers here! Yippee!

Have fun in the Big Apple, folks!

xoxo - Bella

The Making of a Happy Dog

How do you make a happy dog? You make frosty paws!! Here is how it's done:

Step One: You track down some guy named "Trader Joe" and you buy up all his creamy, unsalted peanut butter and plain nonfat yoghurt and you mix it up altogether.

Step Two: You put the peanut butter and yoghurt mixture into small little cups. My Mom uses the plastic cups in which gelato is served (gelato is just a fancy word for human frosty paws. It's not nearly as yummy as the canine version).

Step Three: You wait an ETERNITY while the frosty paws are chilling in the freezer. At this point, I highly recommend that you put on your very best "sad face"....because eventually the humans will feel sorry for you, and they'll let you lick the spoon (see Step Four).

Step Four: Victory! Your "sad face" made the humans feel guilty and you get to lick the spoon. This is almost as good as eating the whole frosty paws.

Of course, Step Five involves eating the frosty paws....which I did so quickly that Mom didn't have time to take a picture. But, I assure you they were Y*U*M*M*Y!!

xoxo - Bella

Slumber Party!!

Oh...My...Dog...

This weekend was my first slumber party and it was PAWSOME! My friends Daniela and David came to Portland with their parents on Friday night and we turned the guest bedroom into an indoor campsite. The kids slept on the air mattress and the camping pad, and I got to squeeze in between. Thank goodness for sibling rivalry, too, because they spent most of the time competing to see who could hug me more.

Now, if only we had had some s'mores!

xoxo - Bella

$25 Million, Baby

If somebody is *bleeping* crazy enough to pay $20 million for a picture of Angelina Jolie's twins, then my parents really missed the boat......

'Cuz this could've gone for a cool $25 million! Humans are totally, completely crazy.

xoxo - Bella

Wednesday Rap

yo, yo
fellas,

my name
is bella.

i’m a boxer who raps,
(in between naps).

firecrackers,
weed whackers,
car jackers.

the noiz is all ‘round,
makes me bark like a hound.

mama’s gonna send me to the pound.

xoxo--bella dawg

Happy (Quiet) Fourth!

Happy Fourth of July!

Isn't it great to live in a country where everyone, included blogging Boxers, can speak their minds? Especially in an election year, it's a great time to celebrate freedom of choice. However, I'm not sure that should include being able to launch fireworks off your front porch. I don't know about your neighborhood, but my normally quiet street has turned into a hillbilly fiesta. It's like all the rednecks got drunk on Pabst Blue Ribbon and loaded up on illegal fireworks and now they'll spend the next week shooting them off in the street. 

I'm not the only person who thinks this is stupid. Seventy-three percent of Oregonians with pets don't find neighborhood fireworks amusing, and for many war veterans the noise is downright scary. Check out this blog post from The Oregonian's pet columnist Deborah Wood. According to Deborah, July Fourth is the No. 1 day of the year for lost pets because they panic at the noise and run away.

I hope that all my blogging buddies are enjoying the holiday and that they stay safe-and-sound.

xoxo - Bella

Hey, Wound Fairy, Over Here!

This is my cousin Taylor. She just lost her front tooth and got money from The Tooth Fairy!

 

So, I ask you: shouldn't I get some kind of compensation from The Wound Fairy?

This is what happens when sharp little Labrador teeth collide with delicate Boxer skin. It's not as bad as it looks--the chalky little pills that I have to eat twice a day are the worst part. Gag.

Fortunately, the sympathy-meter is running high here in our household and I'm milking it for all it's worth. Today I scored cheese, peanut butter and a chopped chicken dinner. KA-CHING!!!

xoxo - Bella

Happy Summer!

Summer has arrived in Portland and, to quote my dear friend Ruby, W00t!! (My Mom made me look up the word W00t in the Urban Dictionary before she let me use it in my blog. Censorship is a drag.)

Anyway, the best part of summer is getting to eat hamburgers and ice cream!!

Okay, I'm not really eating hamburgers and ice cream. But my cousins Brandon and Taylor in New York sent me a summer care package with squeaky toys in fun shapes. Maybe next time they can send some real hamburgers? Pretty please?!

xoxo - Bella

Ode to Norm

This video is bittersweet. Norm (aka Norman or the Brown Hound) is moving to the East Coast with his parents in a few weeks. Norm and I have been together since puppyhood. He welcomed me home on my first day in Portland and we've been best buddies ever since. Norm taught me that it was OK to get my paws wet on the beach, and it was Norm that swam out to get my ball when I was too afraid to go any further.

Norm, to quote the infinite wisdom of Bette Midler, this song is for you:

"Did you ever know that you're my hero, Norm,

and everything I would like to be?

I can fly higher than an eagle

'Cause you are the wind beneath my wings."

Sorry, I have to go now because Mom is laughing so hard that tears are coming out of her eyes and Dad is making fake gagging sounds. They just don't understand true love.

xoxo - Bella

Take Your Dog to Work Day!

Hey everybody, Friday is official Take Your Dog to Work Day...so when your humans are getting ready in the morning, don't forget to beg, bark, whine and drool until they agree to take you along!

Unfortunately, it won't be a very special day for me since Mom and Dad make me work in their office all day, every day. They make me file their paperwork, alphabetize their books, make their coffee and take out their dry cleaning. (Bella's Mom here. Don't believe a word that poor Cinderella says. She spends half her day at doggie daycare and the other half drooling on her pillow.)

NOT TRUE! Here's proof that I work hard for my money:

xoxo - Bella